From Black Coffee To Carmel Macchiato

I told someone recently that if I were to write a book describing the challenges men face in being the spiritual leaders in their homes and communities I would entitle it “From Black Coffee To Carmel Macchiato.”   At which he responded, “great title.  Things certainly have changed.  I would love to read that book.”  Well I would love to write that book and maybe one day I will take the time to do just that.  It would not be a book about coffee (even though I do drink mine black) but rather about how we like it… “our way.”  There have been many significant changes in the western culture over the past fifty years or so, but none so reaching (in my opinion) as the philosophical change that causes us to no longer ask “what can I do for you?” but rather “what can you do for me?”  Let’s face it, we know how we like things and we live in a culture that is determined to give us exactly what we want the way we want it.

In 1976 Burger King picked up on this emerging trend of self-centeredness and started telling us to “have it your way.”  This slogan became one of the most popular and effective advertising strategies of all time.  Companies were off to the races rushing to promise their customers exactly what they wanted.  “You deserve a break today…”  “Go for the gusto.”  “Just do it.”  “You asked for it, you got it.”  Sound familiar?  It didn’t take long for us to adjust to the idea.  Life is about us.  Down to the smallest detail it is all about how we like it.  Starbucks picked up on the idea and realized that there were only a couple options for coffee drinkers; black, with cream, with sugar, with cream and sugar.  Now, people will drive several miles, stand in line for several minutes and gladly fork out several dollars for that “perfect” cup of coffee made especially the way they like it.  Carmel Macchiato.  By the way, can you imagine our grandfathers sitting around a fire in some war-torn European city during WWII cooking a pot of “Joe” and someone asking, “anybody got some French Vanilla Creamer, I’m fresh out?”

What does all this “getting it our way” have to do with men and their role as spiritual leaders in our homes and culture?  I’m glad you asked.  You see, I’m not talking here about coffee, burgers, cars or clothes.  I’m referring to a philosophy that creates and maintains an attitude of self-gratification and self –preservation.  After a couple of generations in a world determined to give us what we want, we have readily applied that principle to practically every aspect of our lives.  In other words, we believe that “getting it our way” includes our jobs, our marriages, our churches, our pleasures, our possessions and everything else.  In short, it’s called selfishness.

Now when you study spiritual leadership in the New Testament, you will quickly see that one of the most important characteristics of the leader is to follow Jesus into a mindset of selflessness.  Jesus said that if anyone would follow after Him, he must first deny himself. (Luke 9:23)  Later when describing a spiritual leader in the church, Paul wrote that each should not look to his own interests but to the interest of others.  (Phil. 2:3-4)  And when describing a man’s role in the home he wrote, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  (Eph. 5:25)  Can you see where I am going with this?  Having it done your way makes a good cup of coffee but a lousy spiritual leader.  God is still looking for men who are willing to sacrifice themselves and will still ask of their families, their churches and their communities, “What can I do for you?”  Expecting a burger or a cup of coffee to be made to your taste is certainly not asking too much.  However, good spiritual leaders find a way to adjust and respond to the needs of those around them even when it means sacrificing their own personal desires.  Isn’t that what Jesus did?

If anyone wants to talk with me any further about my upcoming book, we can get together for a cup of coffee.  I’ll have mine black.