Good Question

I don’t usually take requests but this one was a little difficult to pass up.  It came from a troubled father who was obviously struggling with the direction in which our culture has been moving and how this directional shift in morality has impacted his family.  He asked, “Pastor, will you please write a blog post on what the Bible has to say about these couples who want to live together outside of the bond of marriage?”  Immediately, I felt his pain.  As a dad and a granddad myself, I have often lamented over the fast pace at which our society seems to be falling away from the Biblical truths that govern the decency and security of God’s world.  I have often stated that when a culture loses ground ethically or morally, that ground is never recovered and new morals immerge.  I have noticed throughout my lifetime that the great moral dilemmas of one generation are consumed by the dilemmas of the next generation and ultimately accepted as normative behavior.  I realized that at the heart of his question was a greater concern; the difference between right and wrong. I accepted his request.

My first thought is to point out the clear and concise difference between what the culture calls morality and what the Bible calls righteousness.  According to the Oxford Dictionary, morality is “A particular system of values and principles of conduct, especially one held by a specified person or society.”   On the other hand, according to the Bible, righteousness is believing in and adhering to the Word and ways of God.  “Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.”  James2:23  The distinction is clear.  Morality is a set of values and conducts deemed right by the larger culture and are subject to change as the culture changes.  Righteousness is based on the unchanging Word of God.  Righteousness represents a standard set by a holy God intended to assist His people in finding peace with Him and with one another.  This righteousness cannot be accomplished without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ who gives us his own righteousness then calls us to utilize it as we live within the society.   With that distinction being made, the rest of this post is directed to those who profess the Lordship of Jesus Christ and seek to adhere to the truth as revealed in his word.   For the rest of you, I would simply give a word of caution.  Someone is going to decide the difference between right and wrong for your children and grandchildren.  If I were you, I would be concerned about that.

Now back to the original question.  It is painfully obvious that neither the marriage vows nor the marriage bed are any longer considered sacred in this culture.  As a matter of fact, quite the opposite seems to be true.  Sexual promiscuity and prowess are highly valued and praised as a virtue in our music, movies, advertisements and just about everywhere else you look in our society today.  Marriage itself is no longer being valued as a bedrock of society.  The non-Christian community barely even notices now when sex outside of marriage is presented as morally accepted and socially normative. This ground has been lost.  There is no going back.

But what about Christian couples?  Are we as Christians taught to live a different standard than that of the larger community?  In a word, yes.  Jesus said that while we live in this world, we are not to be of this world. (John 17:14-15)  Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.”  (Romans 12:2)  Clearly the Bible teaches that we are not simply to conform to the patterns of morality modeled by our lost world.  But rather, we are to seek to honor God in our lives and in our relationships by remaining true to his teaching.  And just what is that teaching?

The Bible has much to say about the marriage relationship and teaches that any and all sexual conduct outside of the marriage bond is an act of defiance and therefore a sin.  These variations of God’s plan include homosexuality (Rom. 1:26-27); incest (1 Cor. 5); rape (Ex. 22:16-17); adultery (Ex. 20:14); and fornication (1 Cor. 6:9-10)  The Biblical teaching on this topic is very broad and comprehensive but might best be summed up by the words of Jesus himself.  Look closely.  “A man shall leave his father and mother, and be united with his wife and the two shall become one flesh.”  (Matt. 19:5)  Pretty much sums it up wouldn’t you say?  One man, one woman, married, then united.

Thanks for asking dad.  And thank you for reading.